Want
by deadaccount90000
Summary: HIATUS Rukia isn't feeling well and Byakuya's out on an assignment. Who's gonna watch her? Ichimaru Gin. Little does she know he has other intentions as well. RukiaxGin
1. Raindrops

Well I've only read a few RukiaxGin fanfics and most of them are one shots so I decided to try and write a full story of RukiaxGin. I randomly thought of this idea at 1am in the morning. So I took out my notebook and wrote as many ideas as possible. and here we are. 8D

I really hope everyone (well not everyone.) likes it. Hopefully if I get enough reviews, I just might add a nice sexy party. ;D (that's my friend and mine's way of saying sex scene.) -rubs hands together- I'm quite excited about writing this.

I do not own any of these characters. XD If I did then it would have been banned by now.

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Rain again. How gloomy.

The rain was never a good friend of hers. In fact, it was an enemy to her. The rain always sent a dart of anguish at her heart. There were so many memories in every raindrop. But unlike the rain, her memories couldn't wash away. Her memories couldn't dry out in the sunlight's warm beams to start life anew. They stuck to her. They been stuck there for a long time now.

It seemed the rain gave her a chain of memories, linked to one another. One memory would remind her of another. They reminded her of him...

The day she lost the one that meant to her the most. Kaien Shiba. Her teacher. Her friend. Gone. Gone forever. And to this day still sends streams of pain to her heart.

Back in those days the rain was a reminder of happy thoughts. Back when she was with Kaien, they rain would remind of her of those times where she spent her rainy days in the Rukongai with Renji. She would feel sad, missing him, but Kaien would be there to heal the wounds in her heart and everything would be alright. But those days are gone now. Now the only times she can ever see her precious teachers face is in her dreams.

She loved him. She never denied that. But then there was Miyako. His wife. Yes, Rukia admired her so much but at the same time envied her a little. Every time she saw those two together, a part of her just wished she could be Miyako. Even just for one day to be in her shoes. Just to see what it was like being held, being caressed, being kissed. By him. But she knew that was entirely impossible. Even back then. His heart belonged to Miyako. And she accepted that. That just made her admire Miyako even more. Not only was she strong, but also she had a great husband. But then again, Rukia wanted to blame her for their misfortune. When she actually thought about it, if it weren't for her getting possessed by that hallow, he wouldn't have died. He'd still be right there with her. And who knows? Maybe they could have had a chance. But then again, whenever someone is at fault they always want to point fingers at someone else. What's done is done. She can't change the past and she was aware of that.

Then came Ichigo. She couldn't really explain it. She knew she had feelings for that stupid orange haired boy, but knew that their love could never be. Not only because they were from two different worlds, but that it seemed like their relationship could only be passed as a brotherly sisterly type. Plus he resembled Kaien far too much and that wouldn't be fair to Ichigo. If they ever hugged she would be picturing her teacher, not Ichigo. If they ever kissed, she would be imagining Kaiens lips on hers, and not Ichigos. She couldn't put herself or him through that. And he had Orihime. Funny how things work out like that? How history seems to repeat itself. First Kaien and Miyako, now Ichigo and Orihime.

He knew her way before he knew Rukia. Orihime understood Ichigo more as he did her. They were a match made in heaven. Why would she interfere with that? Orihime has been waiting for him her whole life. And who was she to steal that? Orihime deserved him. Despite of how much it pained her, she tried to be happy for them. And they still treated Rukia as an equal. And in Orihime's case, a best friend. All though Rukia saw her as a love rival, but couldn't help but feel the same way towards her. But she wished they all didn't feel that way towards her. They meant so much to her, but it just wouldn't work out. They were all just too different from each other.

They were humans. They have someplace to go back to, People to expect and welcome them back, a life to live at the fullest. And then they die. They're so lucky. They could die in so many different ways. Peacefully, painfully, unexpectedly, even quickly. But not her. Yes, she could die. Any shinigami could. But not like how a human could. A human's life is kind of like an hourglass. There's only a specific amount of time to live. But when the sand runs out, that's it. Nothing left. You can't turn it over again. It's the end of the line. You stop existing. That's why humans have such a tremendous will to live. It's almost like a game once you think about it. Trying to beat the clock almost. Trying to get everything you can do in-between life and death. She gave it some thought.

"So that's what they mean..." She thought out loud.

"What does what mean Kuchiki Rukia?" A smooth sounding with a hint of chill crawled up behind her.

She froze. She forgot how to breathe. Everything, even the rain seemed to have gone quiet. The damp chilly feeling of the weather seemed to have faded now into an uncomfortable stuffy feeling. Kind of like the feeling of when you hold your breath. She felt like her circulation just froze up. She knew that voice anywhere.

"I...Ichimaru Gin..." She stuttered. She didn't need to turn around to know it was him. The sudden uncomfortable feeling she has now was enough to know. She knew he was right behind her with his famous mocking smile on his face.

"What do you want Ichimaru Gin?" She managed to mutter out as coldly as she could. He didn't react towards her tone. He never did.

"What's wrong Rukia?" He asked in his usual soft cheerful tone. "You sound as if you're not happy to see me?"

She tried to laugh, but it only came out half-heartedly. "I can't really be happy to see you if I'm not even looking at you."

Then there was silence. She looked back out at the rain. But still couldn't seem to hear it. She suddenly felt awkward. She had to admit that was a pretty dumb comeback and probably shouldn't have said anything. She almost felt embarrassed. But why? She was almost wishing he were to hurry up and say what he needed.

He then set her free with his soft laughter. "Then why don't you turn around and face me then?"

She stiffened. She hoped that he was just joking as usual. Playing around with her emotions like many other times. But not this time. She couldn't sense any humor. None whatsoever.

" Rukia..." He said her name slowly. Almost as if he were savoring the feeling of her name rolling off his tongue. "That's an order."

_An order?_ Why does he think he can start giving her orders?! Turning around and looking at him was the last thing she ever wanted to do. She knew what was waiting for her. That same wide grin carved into his face. That same smile that haunts her anytime something remotely seems similar to him. But she did. She obediently turned towards him slowly. But she looked at the ground. She couldn't look at him. It was too overpowering.

He then laughs tauntingly. " Why can't you look at me?"

She could sense his snake-like grin glowing down upon her. She didn't need to see him to know that. It was always there. She sighed.

"Just tell me what you want Ichimaru Gin..."

"Fair enough. I saw you gazing out at the rain. You looked so deep in though and I felt...concerned." He finished with a hint of fake concern.

"Concerned?!" She blurted out. She knew that was a lie. He can't be concerned about anyone! Could he? It just didn't fit his character. Without thinking, she looked up at him. Big mistake. She felt like a mouse being cornered by a snake. She felt trapped. She then felt that familiar tingle she always gets when he's around. The feeling of snakes slithering all over her small helpless body. She's learned to deal with it better but it was still as powerful as ever.

He leaned forward and she was as stiff as a rock. She didn't know what he was planning nor did she want to find out. He leaned towards her hearing range and whispered.

"What were you thinking about?"

She snapped out of her trance. Time started to flow back in. She sound of rain beating against the rooftop came rushing back into her ears. That stuffy feeling she had earlier disappeared into a sudden chill from rainy weather. She should have known. Why would she think even for a second he would be even remotely concerned? Especially about her. Noticing her in train of thought, he leans back and smiles wider.

"Hey, cheer up Rukia. It's gloomy enough with the rain."_ What did he just say?! _She thought, sparks of anger flashing in her eyes._ Why you..._

"Ichimaru Gin..." A third voice entered the scene. Rukia darted her eyes in the direction of where it came from and there stood Byakuya. Obviously not too impressed by their unexpected visitor. "Ah, Captain Kuchiki." Gin greeted warmly, not affected at all by Byakuya's coldness towards him. "I was just leaving..." And with a small hand gesture he turned his heel and was gone.

Everything felt to light afterward. She could finally breathe normally. Byakuya had nothing to say and in a flash was gone himself. He never bothered to ask why he was here or what he wanted. Maybe he already knew? Or was he listening? She put those thoughts aside and decided not to question her brother's behavior. She continued to look out at the rain trying to continue where she left off before she was ever so rudely interrupted. But she couldn't. Now the only thing she could think of was that slanted grin directed at her. His voice acting out fake concern. She wanted to gag. She wanted to wipe that picture out of her memory completely but couldn't. It stuck to her just like all her other memories.

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Phew! There, I hope you guys liked it SO FAR. Feel free to give me crits and suggestions. I'm a bit rusty with fanfic writing and it's been a while since I've seen Bleach (all though I'm quite ahead watching and reading it.) This sounds like a one-shot a little bit, but I'm going to see how far I can go with this fic. 8D I have some epic ideas now I just need to figure out how to word it and how it'll end up.


	2. Nightmares

Wow I didn't think people would like my story already. Well I'm glad you guys do. 8D I was starting to get a little worried. ands thanks for the crits too. I misplaced Taichou in my last chapter. XD I'm such a noob. I went back and changed it. Well here's Chapter 2.

I do not own Bleach. (if I did then Rukia and Gin would be SO married by now.)

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He hummed out of tune, while we walked back to his headquarters. He'd stop every once and a while to stare at the rain. Most of the time, people couldn't stand such weather as this. His uniform fluttering in the cold moist wind. Strands of his silver hair dancing along in the wind. His grin wider than ever, not really directed towards anyone. He couldn't help but be as cheerful as ever. He had a certain black haired violet eyed girl on his mind. No other than little Rukia Kuchiki herself. He still remembered that distant look in her eyes when she stared out into the falling aqueous vapor. He knew what she was thinking about. It was written all over her face. She was thinking how empty and alone she felt now that her incredibly stupid orange haired boyfriend was gone. And possibly something else, But he didn't care. He was actually quite glad Kurosaki was gone and out of the way. Now his personal agenda can finally go into place.

He always thought Rukia was adorable in a way. There were many things he liked about her. She was so small and petite. She looked like a helpless victim that couldn't defend herself. He knew that wasn't the case but compared to him it seemed factual. She was helpless at his hand. And she was scared of him. His very presence made her jump right out of her skin. Every grin she aims at her, she stops dead in her tracks, her blood freezing in her veins. She'd just stand there at his mercy.

He liked that. He liked that a lot. She was perfect.

No.

Beyond perfection. She was the perfect little play thing.

Better.

She was the perfect prey. Perfect for him.

He liked the feeling of being in control. Especially over a helpless victim like herself. Even if she tried to put up a fight it wouldn't help her one bit. And he was aware of how feisty she was. That just excited him more. He could picture her kicking and screaming while he had his way with no problem.

But he had something planned even better than that. He was aware that he upsets her. Every time him and Byakuya alongside little Rukia crossed paths, he would commonly start pointless conversations. He didn't have any business with Byakuya, but just to stall time so he could send glances and smiles at Rukia. And every time he could tell she felt uncomfortable. But he couldn't help it. She was just too cute. Not bothering her seems entirely impossible.

Sure, to most people that would seem like a waste of time and effort, but the tiny black haired Kuchiki satisfied his needs. There was a point in his life where he actually questioned himself as to why wouldn't he just settle with Rangiku Matsumoto? Yes, she was a cute woman and everything, and they were close. But she just seemed to give him what he wanted whenever he wanted. Whenever he asks a favor of her, she does it without question. That bores him. He liked a challenge. _Thrill of the Chase_ you might call it. He liked to stalk and hunt for what he wants. And Rukia gave him that thrill. Plus he's always had a knack for wanting what he can't have. And what he wanted was her. And Rukia trying to avoid him at any opportunity she got, and her acting as if she didn't want him back just made him want her even more.

She fascinated him on how long she's been running from him. Whenever it seems like he's got her cornered, she somehow slips right through his clutches. She was kind of like water. She just kept slipping through his hands. It never irritated him thought. It clearly amused him. He also wondered how long she was willing to run. At some point she's going to slow down and give in to him. And he was waiting for this moment. He had everything planned out, now he just needed to wait for the perfect time to strike.

When he finally snapped out of his deep contemplation, he quickly turned down a corridor to avoid conversation with Aizen.  
He wanted to act now on his private agenda, but he knew he had to wait.

She hated him. She doesn't want anything to do with him. His lips curled into his familiar smile. Well, we're just going to have to change that now won't we?

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_No! Kaien sir! Don't die please!!_

She flinched and bolted straight up, gasping for breath. She was covered in a thin layer of sweat. She was so confused. She hasn't had a nightmare about her dead teacher in such a long time. Why would she be having dreams about him now? Probably because she was thinking about him earlier that day. She couldn't help it. She missed him so much. She feels there's a deep hole in her heart that he used to fill. Now that he's gone and her longing so much to see him again just stretches it wider and wider. It hurts. She couldn't bare it. She wishes there was some way to see him again. Even if it were for a moment. Even if history and time itself had to change forever.

She sat up. Her sleeping clothing stuck to her back from the sweat. It was darker than usual. She could still hear the sound of rain beating quietly against the rooftop. _The rain, that's it_. She tried to convince herself. _It's probably just the rain. _She was right when she told herself earlier that the rain was a constant reminder of memories. She got up quietly, hoping not to wake Byakuya up. She needed to breathe. It was too hot in there. She needed to get out. She walked soundlessly towards the door and slid it open. The quiet sound of sprinkling mist then changed to a roaring wave. It made her brain twitch uncomfortably. The sound of raindrops heading towards the earth to her sounded like small pebbles crashing towards the ground. She thought the cold air would help but this was unbearable! It was giving her a skull-splitting headache.

She slid the door shut and headed back towards her room. She might as well go back to sleep since nothings really helping her. She closed her bedroom door and quickly, yet quietly changed out of her damp sweaty night wear and into a fresh one. She slipped back into her bed and just stared blankly at the dark ceiling. Now that she thought of it, what she was talking about earlier sounded so childish and selfish. Would she really be willing to risk time and space itself just to see her beloved Kaien? Would she be willing to risk the lives of all living things, mortal or no, just for her own selfish desires? It showed how alone she felt nowadays. That she's not even thinking straight. There's nothing she can do about the past nor can she change it. As she slowly fell into a dark dreamless sleep, all her dark surroundings blurring around her, like sinking underwater, she remembered another enemy of hers that's not too fond of her either. Time.

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"My God Rukia! You look awful!"

Rukia sinks down and rests her hot forehead on the cool wooden table while her childhood friend, Renji Abarai starts having a hissy fit next to her.

"What happened to you? You don't look well at all." And she didn't. Her skin was paler than usual, she had dark circles under her eyes, her lips were chapped, her throat was dry, she has a nasty cough every now and then, and to top it all off her temperature was off the charts.

"I'm fine Renji, really." She forced herself to smile as big as her face would allow, only to fall into a fit of coughs.

"Like hell you are! You'd have to be blind to not see you're as sick as a dog!"

Before she got a chance to reply with a snappy comeback, she felt herself being pulled to her feet and being dragged towards the exit by Renji's firm grasp.

"Renji! What are you **doing**? Let **go** of me!" She shouted.

"No. I'm taking you to the 4th Division. You're not well Rukia."

"What? No! I'm not going!!"

"Yes you are!!!"

After what seemed like a long period of time, trying to push her out through the doorway, and a poor sick Rukia holding onto the door frame for dear life, he finally gave up and sighed.

"Fine. I won't force you to go. But please promise me you'll go there."

_Damn it! _She hated it when she had to make promises. Especially ones she doesn't plan on keeping. She just wanted to crawl under her covers into her small bed and wait for this day to be over. But that look of concern in his eyes made her reply mindlessly. Before she realized what she said it was too late.

"Fine."

Just then, both Hinamori Momo and Izuru Kira walked in. After both greeting Rukia warmly, without a second thought, immediately started conversation with Renji. Rukia decided to take advantage of this distraction and hightailed out of there.

"**Remember your promise**!" He shouted at her departing figure fading into the damp cold streets of Soul Society.

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She walked around the streets in a daze. She didn't remember how long. She just wanted time to pass as quickly as possible. She was indeed very sick. Both physically and mentally. But she didn't want to admit it. She thought about a few hours ago that a little training would sweat it out of her system and get some things that were bothering her out of her mind, but it was no use. It made things much worse. She felt as if she could just die. A few people now and then shot her a few glances out of pity and wonder. But there was only one face that remained in her head.

Renji Abarai.

He's always been such a great friend of Rukia's. Ever since they both grew up in the 78th district of Rukongai, then both students at the Soul Reaper Academy, before and after Kaien came in and out of her life, and even when she got herself mixed up with humans. He was always there for her to care and support her whenever he had the chance. Now that she thought about it, she felt a bit selfish. Here she is feeling sorry for herself for losing everyone she knows and loves, and yet poor Renji has been there since day 1. He never left her and has always cared for her and she hadn't put much effort to notice this until now. And since she was feeling so alone, why not him? Kaien no longer with us, Ichigo belongs on earth and she didn't want him getting mixed up with her anymore, and Byakuya would never truly love her (All though she did think about it once, not only to try and win his affection and respect, but also in a slight way of getting revenge to her sister Hisana for abandoning her, so why not pay for it by stealing him? It seemed like a fair price but then again, Byakuya would probably just see her as a replacement for Hisana.) so why not Renji? He cared for her, today definitely showed his worth. It would work out wouldn't it?

"Poor Renji..." She whispered. "I feel so stupid." _So stupid for not putting his feelings into consideration after all this time._

"Ah, there you go with your habit of thinking out loud again." A familiar voice cooed out. "But then again it's all the more adorable, Rukia dear."

_Oh God no! Not him again!_ Hearing his voice slithering up behind her unexpectedly made it seem cooler than usual. Seeing him was the last thing she wanted to do. Especially in her condition.

"Leave me _alone_....Ichimaru Gin." She whispered coldly.

He put on a fake sad face. "Aww, Rukia dear is being _so_ cold. Is that any way to treat a friend who is worried about you?" He places his hand on his chest and clutches his heart to express how 'hurt' he was. "This hurts me _severely_, Rukia dear."

She huffed. _Worried my foot! _She wasn't in the mood for his mind games. She wasn't in the mood for him. Her head was starting to throb. She let out a small groan and clutched her head with one hand and tried to keep her balance with the other.

"Is everything alright? You don't look to well." He chirped through his smile. He was obvious amused by her attempts to stumble away from him. Usually she always escaped. Oh no. Not this time. This time she's his.

She had to get away now! She shut her eyes tightly, trying to ignore her head pulsing in her ears, but nothing helped. He head was spinning and she felt like she would faint any second now. She was now starting to regret not keeping her promise to Renji. 4th Division didn't sound all that bad. She opened her eyes slowly and tried to wobble her way towards the Division. (this to Gin's amusement, kind of looked like a drunken dance.) But every direction looked the same. She didn't really know where she was going. Everything looked blurry despite of her attempts to focus her vision.

"Oh my, dear Rukia. Do you need any assistance? You've seemed to have lost your way." She heard his voice slithering through her ears throughout the faint abstract. She finally couldn't take anymore of this and finally collapsed. She fell into a pair of strong arms that caught her firmly before she hit the ground. He laughed at an unconscious Rukia.

"We're going to have to change that attitude you have towards me, Rukia dear..." And she would whether she accepted it or not. "It just won't do."

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Well I hope you guys liked chapter 2. :D If anyone hasn't stopped reading it by now, stay tuned for chapter 3. Oooh do I sense a love triangle going on here? ......maybe. XD I'm not giving out any spoilers! I already though of how this is gonna end and how the whole plots gonna fall in but for now I need to think of what will go on in between. (crits and suggestions are welcomed and appreciated.)


	3. High Fever

I'm SO sorry it took me forever to get the next chapter up! DX I usually write my fanfics on paper then transfer them on my computer. When I was typing the third chapter I guess it got deleted. Thank goodness I wrote it down first or else I'd have a problem.

First of all I'd just like to say one thing: Wow. Just....wow. Words can not describe how utterly shocked and flattered I was seeing my inbox filled with reviews, favorites, and watches. X3 I honestly did NOT think anyone was going to like this story! Thank you all so much who are supporting me in this project!

Also I (once again) went back and re edited some parts on the previous chapters. (Or at least it SHOULD be shown. I've tried to edit my previous chapters numerous of times but the updates never show.) Thanks to those who gave me crits, tips, shown interest in this project. Thank you!

**I do not own Bleach or any of the characters. (Let's all thank God for that. I would of screwed it up.)**

Now let's stop my blabbering and onto the story shall we?

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She awoke several hours later in a daze.

She tried to open her eyes but it was too bright, so she kept them shut. She heard the faint tinkling of glass bottles clanging together, soft murmurs of quiet evening chatter, accompanied by chilly air and the smell of vaccine and medical alcohol. Just from these minor characteristics she knew exactly where she was.

The 4th Division.

She shivered a bit. _It's freezing!_ Due to her sweating so much and the cold temperature of the room combined made her feel life an ice cube.

Light footsteps were then heard. She wasn't sure whether they were coming her way or not.

Silence.

A smooth deep male voice was heard suddenly and so close.

" What's wrong with her?"

_So familiar..._

"I'm not sure." Another male voice answered. "She didn't look too well all day today, and then-" The voice stopped abruptly as another voice came into the room.

" There's nothing to worry about." It was a soft gentle female voice. "She just has a high fever, that's all. Possibly due to stress and the weather we're having."

She knew the female voice almost immediately. Retsu Unohana.

" But is she going to be alright?" The second male voice asked. There was no immediate answer. The sound of soft footsteps tipped across the room towards Rukia. She felt a cold hand rest gently upon her hot forehead. A minute or two passed.

" She needs plenty of rest. Her fever hasn't gone down."

_A high fever?!_ Rukia just wanted to scream, but due to her current state, she didn't have the strength or urge to do so. _Just perfect! I don't have time for fever! Especially around a time like this. Especially since __**he**__ has been showing up again._

A huge commotion bursted to life suddenly outside the room. (not much to Rukia's headache's liking.) Unohana departed from the room. Sounds of footsteps scampering everywhere could be heard throughout the whole division.

Minutes passed.

**"NANAO-CHAAAN!!!!"** She heard a loud booming voice vibrate through the whole building, only for it to be scolded by a quieter, but more strict voice.

"_Shhhhh!!!!_ Don't be so loud Captain!" The female voice hissed. Rukia wanted to roll her eyes under her lids. She knew who it was.

Shunsui Kyōraku of the 8th Division and his Assistant Nanao Ise.

"My poor Nanao-chan! If I weren't being so careless you would have never gotten injured!" Shunsui sobbed, obviously ignoring his assistant's verbal thrashings. "Oh woe is me! I should have thrown my very **life** down to save you!"

The (being very overly dramatic) captain dropped to his knees and promised to his assistant. "Don't worry my little Nanao. I promise on my life to keep you from any more danger that could threaten your life!"

There was a small pause. The first thing Rukia could think of was the phrase 'awkward silence'. Then later Nanao broke the silence and replied bashfully.

"I...a-all I did was just scrape my leg Captain..."

If it didn't hurt so much, Rukia would have burst into laughter. Leave it to Kyōraku to over react when his assistant gets even the tiniest injury. After that small fiasco, she didn't hear much. It sounded like more people were rushed in, one of them Hinamori Momo, a lot more injured than the previous ordeal. Hinamori was rushed in along side one of her childhood friends, Izuru Kira, tailing behind them. He sounded like a nervous wreck and Rukia wasn't surprised.

It was as clear as day that Izuru had a huge crush on Hinamori. He always had ever since they met at the academy. Rukia recalled one day at the academy, during a training period, Rukia caught a glance at Izuru nervously walking toward Hinamori, hesitating on whether to ask her out or not. When he finally yelled it out into the heavens he realized she walked off unaware he was talking to her. The poor guy was humiliated!

To this day Hinamori is still unaware of his affection towards her (despite of how obvious it was.) and poor Izuru just keeps it to himself. All though it was none of her business, Rukia sometimes wondered if he ever was going to confess to her.

More time passed and Rukia then heard the same voices from earlier. One of the male voices didn't sound too happy and the other remained silent. All though her eyelids were closed, Rukia felt them start to get heavy on her sockets. Before she fell into anothe dreamless slumber she heard Unohana say, "I'll send Isane to check on her and give her anything she needs Captain Byakuya."

Rukia then figured out why one of the voices sounded so familiar. It was her own brother. She felt a little embarassed for not knowing before, but then again she was more sick than she thought she was. But who was the second voice? Before she answered her question she feel asleep, and the last voice remained a mystery.

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There you go everyone! I hope you liked it so far. And I hope you liked my guest appearences as well! 8D This chapter is not as long as my others, probably, but I just wanted to get it up so you'd all know I'm still alive and writing and I haven't given up on this project. Stay tuned!!


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